All-Up-In-My-Face-Phobia

I don’t know what it is, but I think that small creatures have it out for me. Last weekend, I was at my grandmother’s. She had asked me to get a package from the front porch. I didn’t think anything of it. You usually don’t expect anything to happen within the 10 seconds it takes to grab a package. I was so incredibly wrong.

 I opened up the door and walked outside. I had it propped open with my foot while I bent down to grab the package. All of a sudden, I heard a big WHOOSH! that was just a little too close to my ear. I quickly turned around to see a bird fly into the house.

“Ohnoohnoohno!” 

I walked back inside very slowly. My grandparents looked at me, puzzled.

“Um… I think I just let a bird in the house.”

There was no thinking to it. I knew that little devil took advantage of my momentary lapse of smart. My very rare moments of stupidity. I just didn’t want to admit it. The worst part is that I hate having things fly around my face. Hence, the title of this post. That little bird would fly around and come at me like a kamikaze pilot.

Needless to say, when something is flying at me at the speed of light, I start to fly a little faster. I was leaping over couches, throwing blankets over my head, and praying that I would be spared. I quickly knew it was a losing battle so I handed a blanket to my grandmother so she could pick it up-they had finally trapped it in a bedroom. I then ran outside. I should note that it was freezing outside and I was in my pajamas, but I didn’t care. I was safe.

They let the bird out the front door and I made my way back inside. I fell on the couch, trying to let my heart settle down. My grandparents certainly got a kick out of watching me leap over the furniture because of a little barn swallow. That’s me. The family comedian.