“Broken hearts, Torn up letters”

I’m sitting here in a pretty good mood. Actually, I’m happy. But I don’t want to be. When things are going my way, I have a tendency to forget about the important things. I forget about the problems of others; the same problems that I was on my face for a few weeks earlier. I overlook the grace and mercy that led me to where I am today. I push aside the very One that presented me with this joy.

I am thankful for my happiness, but if this happiness puts me back into that world of selfish desires that was so hard for me to get out of then I’d rather be broken. I’d rather have sorrow overwhelm me. At least then I would look to Him who promised to hold me in His arms. At least then I could give my thoughts and prayers to those who are hurting and deserve some happiness in this life. 

It took a tragedy to set me free from my self-centered world. I’m not saying God planned for that to happen, but He did use it to open my eyes. I certainly don’t want that to happen again.

Selfishness truly does kill. Being so caught up in your own agenda can destroy the lives of others. I’ve seen it.

We are called to help those who are broken. How can you help the broken if you are not broken yourself? It’s easier to offer an understanding ear if you are hurting yourself. It’s easier for the wounded to run in to your outstretched arms if they can see your scars and wounds. We have a tendency to cover the scars when everything is going our way. And that’s understandable. Who wants to reminisce on their wounds when all is well in their world?

So, if it takes me sacrificing my joy while I’m on this earth to help those who are broken then so be it. I’d rather have sorrow and show my scars then to be happy, cover them up, and present to those who are put on my path that I have a perfect life. That’s a lie. My life’s not perfect. Why show that it is? 

God can take my faith that seems so small at times to move mountains. He can take my pain, fears, confusion and doubt and use them for His plan. He can turn my sorrow and emotional scars into something truly beautiful. If my scars can help one person, then it would be worth it.

I rejoice in my pain and sorrow. I am thankful for the battles that I have endured and the scars that left their mark in my spirit. This is where I want my joy to come from. This is where I can make a difference.